Sunday, April 2, 2017

Your opinion does not matter to me.


I can care less about your opinion of me as a mother, let me tell you why...

Before I had kids I had this vision of what kind of mom I would be. They would eat only fruits and veggies; breast fed until two years old ; off the baby bottles by 9 months old ; no pacifiers ever. I said I would never give into a tantrum... public tantrums would never happen ! I would always be prepared, no matter what. The TV would never be used as a distraction to get stuff done around the house. I was going to be perfect. And I am pretty sure that is the kind of parent you think you are going to be in the future too. I thought I was going to be a different parent in many ways. But you learn from what you live through ; not from what you think you know. Because guess what ? Life happens, and you have absolutely no control over it. 

I can't tell you how many times I have heard the saying "when I have kids I will or I won't" yeah ... been there, done that. I have had to eat my words many times. You don't know what it is like to have kids until you have kids of your own. You helped raise your sibling/ nephews or nieces ?! Great ; you are still a child less person who has no idea what kind of parent you will really be. As a person who has been working in childcare for 10+ years I thought I had it all figured out. I was going to be a pro. Negative. When it is your very own 24:7 - always on call child things seem to happen differently than you had invisioned.

Not speaking for the moms who can care less about their child ; the ones that send the kids to grandmas every weekend to get wasted. Or the mothers who treat their children terribly. To the mothers who wake up every morning to get their child to school on time ; with their homework that you check every night. Making sure their lunch is packed ; you come home from a long day of work & make believe you aren't tired and create art projects with them ; play board games; read books - all while making dinner ; and making sure bath time happens. If that doesn't sound like a mom that's not good enough to you ; then good luck being a mom with higher expectations.

In no way am I trying to offend people without children. To each is own. I don't care that you don't want children , I just don't think you have any right telling me how to raise mine. I don't care if you have a masters in child psychology- you have no kids; you have no right. I consider myself pretty feminist and agree when people say that a man has no right to tell a women what to do with their body because they don't own the same equipment we do right? Well parenting to me is the same ... if you have no children you have no right to tell me what I am doing "wrong" or what I am not doing "enough" of. Everyone will always have an opinion. Regardless not everyone will be happy with your decisions. But your child; your decisions. I have had to make many tough decisions that not everyone agreed with, but at the end of the day I base my decisions on my child's well being. As their mom I know them best. At the end of the day I get top notch 100% ratings from the most important people : my kids.

Trust me .. I still strive for perfection. But you can't be perfect. You can be enough. I am enough. Being a mother is what I do best and no one can possibly change my mind about that. 


  1. Awesome writing! Even if you do have children , every parenting style is different and every child is unique. So its great to offer suggestions, but save them for when asked 😄

  2. Jess this really really hit home with me. I agree with you 100% and thank you for that. You’re an amazing mom!