Monday, January 13, 2020

Mom Shame From Moms.

I was looking through mom groups on Facebook not long ago and I came across a post where a mom was venting about how she never gets time to herself, and is with her children 24-7 because she doesn’t have much help from her family. So she was expressing how lonely she feels, and worn out. She craves for some down time. Let me tell you that it saddened me to see how many hateful comments she got under her post. Many moms actually commented how she was ungrateful, and she shouldn’t have ever had kids in the first place. Many went on to say that they never get a break from their kids and they are the happiest moms ever. They said they wouldn’t have it any other way, because it’s “ what they signed up for”. 

If you ask me, they either A- have the most well behaved and angelic children in the whole entire world, plus a chef who cooks all their meals, and a housekeeper who cleans the house daily and does their weekly laundry. Or B - they are straight up lying!

I absolutely love my boys. I don't think anyone in this world could disagree with that, or think opposite. But when they act like complete terrors who make me believe that they are intentionally living and breathing to mentally and physically break me, trust me i'm looking for a way out - even if it's just for 20 minutes of it. 

The fact that we try to make other mothers feel bad for wanting a break from their normal day to day life is really hard for me to understand. We are all so stuck on what is the "right way" to feel as a parent when in reality their is never a right way, there is just your way. We don't even allow ourselves to feel certain things because we are so worried about what the next mom might think.

Every single time I think about post kids Jessica, I laugh. Because the expectations I had for myself as a parent were just crazy, and we all do it. We all say " Well when I become a parent I am not going to let my child be - that kind of - child, and guess what? You basically do. You have no idea what it is like to be a parent until you have fully gone through with it and experienced the intense tantrums and the tiring late nights. So I get where all the negativity comes from when it comes from people who have yet to have children, because they do not know any better. But as moms we need to stop making believe we are so perfect and have no cares in the world because we know all the "right ways" to parent. It's just so unfair to put another moms feelings to shame just because you don't really feel that way. 

We have to be more compassionate with each other, and understand that not all of us have the same life, beliefs or time - and thats okay! We have to just lift each other up and help each other out. When you see a mom going through something you can't relate just let her know that she's amazing, and regardless of the situation she can overcome it. Be a light at the end of the tunnel for someone, not a black whole of darkness. You have no idea how much of an impact one simple positive sentence can make in another momma's life who is just trying to keep it all together!

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

The Beginning of a New Decade!

It's safe to say that 2019 was quite mind blowing for me. It threw me off in so many ways and it showed. It was definitely a year of reflection for me, and I did not have the energy most of the time to get up and get things done honestly. Every year I end the year off with about 60 + blog post and this year I couldn't even do half of that, and it saddens me that that's just how bad it got for me. But it's a new year and I wont beat myself up for it, I'm just going to take in this fresh new start and own it.

I do however want to apologize to everyone that has been following my journey on here for so long. Not only have I not written much on the blog, but my instagram stories/posts have been extremely dry and less personal. This year I want to change that, and really go full on into this blog experience like I was doing before 2019 stole my soul. Damn, that was deep. But in reality that is exactly how it felt. I felt like I was walking around without a soul and as much as I threw myself into things and prayed I didn't feel quite like myself and it felt like someone stole something important from me. This year I am taking control back, and rebuilding myself, and my life. It's a whole new decade, so what better time than now.

I want to thank all of the people who stuck around, and messaged me to see how I was without even knowing my situation, encouraged me to keep writing, the random hugs when I would attend an event, which was extremely rare for me this past year. Parenthood is a lonely hood to be in most of the time, but I was blessed to have met so many amazing moms through this blogging experience that just get me, and keep me strong without even knowing they are doing just that.

I will be writing more, I will be sharing my story more, I will be attending many more events this year. I will be working with more amazing brands and companies this year. I am manifesting it, and I am putting it out into the world right now. This year will be a great year of many achievements in the blogging world, and within myself too.

Wishing you all the best. Goodbye 2019, and Hello 2020!